Die House Hard? No, ‘White House Down’ (2013).

14 Sep

White House DownI propose a constitutional amendment: each release of a new Roland Emmerich movie initiates a public holiday. Work would be cancelled, phones held and cocktails served in the lobby, for his movies act as badly-needed injections of unbridled fun into our (understandably) cynical, miserable society. His latest venture, White House Down, is a traditionally ‘Emmerich’ movie in that everything, everywhere explodes.

Jamie Foxx refers to himself as merely “the leader of the Free World”, but this is code: he plays President Obama. All his Democrat talk of world peace and militaristic disarmament clearly rubbed an assorted bunch of fundies the wrong way, for the White House is attacked by terrorists. Architecture is levelled, hostages are taken and flag poles are knocked over but have no fear! A body guard and wannabe special forces agent played by Channing Tatum is here to save the day! Unfortunately, he is forced to juggle his duties as an American citizen to save the president with those of a dad, for his kid gets caught up in the chaos too. Cue two hours of brainless entertainment.

Mincing words helps nobody, so lets cut to the chase: this is a pants-on-head stoopid movie. The spectacular levelling of the White House is complimented by frequent shootouts, rocket launchers, double-crossings and car chases on the famously green lawn. But Emmerich expertly follows his own tradition of depicting what would realistically be horrifying events in the most light-heartedly infectious of ways; the carnage occasionally takes five while the bouncy interplay between the two leads fills the spotlight.

You may recall an earlier 2013 action film by the name of Olympus Has Fallen. Both are Die Hard deviants, but the difference between Emmerich’s latest and its Antoine Fuqua(Fuck You Ah!)-directed counterpart lies in the tonal department. That movie is super self-serious and overwhelmingly patriotic, which ultimately clashes with the ridiculous mayhem unfolding on screen. White House Down, on the other hand, is self-aware; it knows it’s a big, dumb action movie and absolutely revels in the fact. It’s like watching a particularly happy-go-lucky pig roll around in its own filth – it’s an entertaining sight to behold, and Porky himself is clearly having the time of his life.

Roland Emmerich, bless him, is perhaps the hackiest of all the hacks working at Hollywood today. He’s not an artist, but just like Liam Neeson in Taken, he has a very specific set of skills. And boy howdy does he know how to use them.

Simon says: In Emmerich We Trust.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

Interesting Literature

A Library of Literary Interestingness

Brian Finnegan



Me and all of you


Reviews and blog home of Shadow Woods Metal Fest

The Neighborhood

The Story within the Story

Waving at Magpies

There's no marmalade at Paddington Station.


Productive procrastination from my final exams to compliment my final exams. Can't go wrong, right?


some kind of wonderful

Talking Horror

A Podcast About All Things Horror

The Baggage Handler

I made the impossible easy in both worlds!

Hiking Photography

Beautiful photos of hiking and other outdoor adventures.


A look into film - past, present and future.


It's about movies

Unbound Boxes Limping Gods

The writer gives life to a story, the reader keeps it alive.

The Lady's Sanctuary

Whisps and Whims, Writing, Wishes and Whispers.

Audio SeXXX

Eargasms found here!

feral love

night waste; an experiment in largely unedited nighttime musings & thoughts

Film Through Time.

A look at film through the years, in all shapes and forms.

Independent Cinema

Watching movies alone. Always.

Nameless Horror

Unspeakable Acts

Bib Overalls Film Blog

This is my personal blog about Bib overalls films and TV series. It's my first blog. I collect here informations, trailer videos, low-res images and personal comments/ratings.

film review london

concise movie reviews & news

The Silver Fox

I like to tell stories.

Keith Broni

Keith Broni's blog.

Ello world, it's me!'s Blog

whatever passes through my mind...

Dublin to Hollywood

Writing my way to Hollywood - one script at a time


A great WordPress.com site

Poshknacker's Blog

coming proudly from left of your peripherals.

The Evolution of Eloquence

Improving the English language one letter at a time

Katie Ingram


The Noise Made By People

Reflections on music and life. But mostly music.

Lateral Love

"The time is always right to do what is right" ~ Martin Luther King Jr

Celluloid Wicker Man

Reviews, Essays and Analysis of Film and Art By Adam Scovell

Shouting From The Left

Combining Marxist/Humanist/Socialist ideals with satire to create a rhetoric which aims to deconstruct current political socio-cultural events.


A site devoted to the Young Adult sci-fi/fantasy novel The Eye-Dancers


Sounds way better than Cheese and Crackers.

Lonely Eskimo Films

We're just a team of friends that want to show the world how creative we can be :)


Movies, thoughts, thoughts about movies.

Little Thread Crafts

Stitching Away One Thread at a Time

Bad horror, Good times

Reviewing the best of the bad!

%d bloggers like this: